Put It in Writing
by downonyourknees
Summary: "WHAT?" he yells, twisting and turning to get a look at his backside. Sure enough, on his right buttcheek is RACHEL BERRY in big letters. Ficlet from the puckrachel drabble meme on LJ.


**AN:** Hey guys, I know it's been a while since I posted something (I'm so sorry, I'm working on all my stories, I swear!) and so I'm gonna post a few little ficlets on FF from the puckrachel drabble meme on LJ that I've been participating in to hopefully jump start my muses. I think it's working (fingers crossed!)

Prompt is at the bottom.

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Puck's passed out on his bed when someone tries to open the door, finds it locked and starts knocking on it. Loudly. He wonders (angrily) which one of his asshole friends it is and why they're knocking. Wouldn't the _locked door_ tip them off?

"Fuck off!" he shouts, pulling a pillow over his face. The knocking just gets more insistent.

He's hungover off his ass and does _not_ want to deal with this. He threw a party at his house with all the gleeks and a bunch of other people because he was missing Rachel and his mom and sister were out of town. He just knows that his house is full of drunken teena- _shit!_ Rachel!

He hops out of bed at lightening speed. She got home from the cruise with her dads today! Double shit!

He pulls on a pair of basketball shorts and rushes over to the door, yanking it open. Rachel looks kind of pissy, and she opens her mouth, probably to yell at him, but he doesn't give her the chance. She's off her feet and in his arms in a second.

"Rachel! I fuckin' missed ya baby," he tells her, burying his face into her hair and inhaling the scent that is completely _Rachel_. He doesn't care how whipped he looks right now, he hasn't seen his girl in a month and he _needs_ to be touching her.

She forgets what she was going to lecture him about a second earlier and wraps her arms around his neck, reveling in the feel of his strong arms around her, his muscular frame pressed tightly against her. "I missed you too, Noah. So much," she whispers, trailing kisses from his shoulder, up to his neck.

He pulls far enough away to capture her lips with his and proceeds to kiss the ever-living _fuck_ out of her.

It escalates pretty quickly and he pulls them into his room, kicking the door shut and locking it, before picking Rachel up and throwing her on his bed. They've got to make up for a month of no hot jew sexin'.

After they've both gotten off _(twice)_ Puck presses a hard kiss to Rachel's lips and murmurs, "Gotta piss. Don't move, not done yet."

Rachel giggles and it turns into hysterical laughter when Puck stands up from the bed and turns to put his shorts back on to walk across the hall.

"The hell are you laughing at?" he asks, one leg in the shorts.

She's trying to tell him, but she's laughing so hard it comes out all jumbled.

"Huh?" he asks, confused.

"You- you have my name," she pauses to laugh, "on your ass! In permanent marker!" The last part comes out kind of squeaky because she doubles over, literally shaking with laughter.

_"WHAT!"_ he yells, twisting and turning to get a look at his backside. Sure enough, on his right buttcheek is **RACHEL BERRY** in big letters.

"There's even a star next to it!" he groans, and Rachel laughs harder.

"Stop laughing! Shit's embarrassing, Rach. I'm going to kill somebody," he says, wrenching the shorts up and stomps through the house to the living room, where most of the gleeks are passed out.

"Who the fuck wrote Rachel's name on my ass last night!" he asks, pulling pillows off the couch and throwing them at his friends.

They grumpily start waking up, looking dazed. "What?" Finn mumbles groggily.

"I've got 'Rachel Berry' written on my ass in sharpie! Who did it?" He asks again.

They all start laughing and Rachel enters the room with an amused smile on her face. He gets distracted momentarily by her appearance. Tousled hair, swollen lips, tan legs peeking out of his t-shirt. He's about to say "fuck it" and drag her back to his bedroom when Finn actually starts snorting and reminds him of why he's _out here_ and not _in there_ with his sexy-ass girlfriend.

"You were _plastered_ last night, rambling on about how much you miss Rachel, how much you 'fuckin love her' and shit," Santana says.

Finn picks up where she left off, "You were saying you were gonna be together forever and how she's gonna be your little wifey. Then you started talking about getting a tattoo. We couldn't get your keys from you and we didn't want you off driving drunk, looking for a tattoo place, so Kurt gave you a tattoo so you'd shut up and sit down."

"Kurt!" Puck exclaims, horrified. "Why the hell did he write it on my ass!"

"You asked him too," Santana supplies. She looks far too happy about divulging that tidbit of information. "He grabbed the sharpie and you took your pants off."

"It's true," Tina says. "And congrats, Rachel."

Rachel blushes bright red and Puck can't help the cocky smirk that finds its way onto his face.

"You even made him add the star," Finn says, effectively wiping the smirk off his face.

"Where the hell is Hummel? I'm going to shave off his eyebrows," Puck growls.

"He was leaving this morning as I was coming in. I supposed he expected this exact reaction from you," Rachel says. He knows she's taking a lot of pleasure in this. He can't really blame her. If it had happened to anyone else, he'd be laughing his ass off. Now he just wants to wash his ass and rid it of the evidence that he is, in fact, Rachel Berry's bitch.

"I hate you guys," he grumbles. They just laugh at him more, so he flips them all off and goes to use the bathroom. He's washing his hands when Rachel calls him and knocks on the door.

"Go away," he says childlishly.

"Noah, you're acting like a child." Even in this situation, he loves that she calls him out on his bullshit.

He opens the door and leans against the frame, pouting.

"You want to marry me someday?" Rachel asks, eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Yes. But not if you don't stop laughing at me," he answers, completely serious.

"Would it make you feel better if I let you give me a matching one?" she asks, looking up at him through her lashes.

Fuck _yes_ it would. He perks up immediately and throws a giggling Rachel over his shoulder, bucking it into his room.

Seeing Noah Puckerman on her (perfect) ass gets him so hot that he doesn't even so much as threaten Kurt later.

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**Prompt (from cheapen):** _Puck gets drunk at a party and wakes up with Rachel's name written in permanent marker on his ass. She didn't do it._


End file.
